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Living the life you don't deserve
author: George Bakalov
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I want to talk about a person that lived a life he didn’t deserve. Through this message, I want to talk to you about your future.
Most of you believe that you are and will be living the life that you deserve. I want to tell you that the Lord has for you a life that you do not deserve. I want to tell you that we don’t deserve anything. We don’t deserve our salvation in the Lord. We don’t deserve the Holy Spirit. We don’t deserve His comfort. We are already living the life that we do not deserve. Somehow, when we leave this room, most of us will walk in the life that we believe we deserve, and never dare to believe that the Lord can give us a life that we do not deserve. I am here this evening to break this lie, and to tell You, Church, that we have a great God. We are not called to enjoy the Holy Spirit, the anointing and all other glorious things only when we enter the House of the Lord and identify ourselves with our supernatural nature, with the fact that we are worshippers and are born again, that we are dwelling in the Glory and are bathing in the waves of the anointing, but the House of the Lord is every place where our feet are walking.
I thank the Lord for the Praise and worship, for the anointing of praise, but can the Church become an Apostolic House? Will we accept the challenge not only to be around the apostolic, but to allow the apostolic to enter in us?
You can be around the apostolic, or around an apostle, and still it may not reform your life at all. You can speak the right words; you can speak the language of the Church, but your inward nature not to be changed at the same time.
I want to speak to you about a man that allowed his nature to be changed. Genesis 27 says:
“And it came to pass, that when Isaac was old, and his eyes were dim, so that he could not see, he called Esau his eldest son, and said unto him, My son: and he said unto him, Behold, here am I. And he said, Behold now, I am old, I know not the day of my death: Now therefore take, I pray thee, thy weapons, thy quiver and thy bow, and go out to the field, and take me some venison; And make me savory meat, such as I love, and bring it to me, that I may eat; that my soul may bless thee before I die.” (Genesis 27:1-4)
When the two twins were born, Esau was the firstborn, and Jacob, the younger brother, held him by the heel. He was fighting for something even from the very beginning. But Jacob was not the firstborn. During that period of time, the firstborn was the inheritor of everything. All the rest after him lived on the remains.
The firstborn son didn’t have to worry about his future. He knew that everything that his father had would be given to him. And every one born after him depended on the mercy of this firstborn brother. If the first born decided to take care of his other brothers and sisters, he did it. If he decided just to leave them be at his mercy, then that was the case with them. Such were the laws. Such was the nature of people.
And now, Isaac will bless Esau. Esau goes hunting, and prepares a savory meal. The mother though, had seen something in the Spirit. Apostle Paul said to the Galatians, that he felt he was like a mother to them. Mothers see things that fathers can not see sometimes.
God created man and woman and expressed part of Himself through the man and another part through the woman. We in the Balkans need leaders that will break this manly chauvinistic thinking, so people can understand that women are leaders too. As men are leaders, so women are leaders, and to the extent Christ is in men, He is also in women.
You will never have a blessed life, if you are not walking in your calling, together with your wife. I would have never been able to do what I am doing, being away from my family for nearly 3 weeks, if my wife and my children are not standing beside me, blessing me, and praying for me every day. We are walking together in the challenge and the grace of the call.
But God gave something to the mother – to see things, and she saw the prophetic destiny. Rebekah loved both her sons, but she wanted something more. Rebekah wanted God’s plan to succeed. I pray for mothers and fathers, who can see God’s plan. This mother saw the future. She wanted God’s plan to succeed. She wanted the multitudes to be blessed. Rebekah wanted to see the blessing of thousands upon thousands and she knew that Esau wouldn’t succeed. She knew, that he would bring his primogeniture to naught, and that he would squander all, given to him.
Do you remember the prodigal son? There was a father, who had two sons. One of the sons came and said: Father, give me all that belongs to me. He gave it to him, and the son went, and squandered it immediately. Some people receive their blessings, receive their gifts and ministries, and quickly squander them, and get worn out, because they don’t understand, that our life is a journey. We don’t understand that our life is not just a series of events, linked by a mere chance, but a well destined journey. We don’t understand that we have a compass, called the Holy Spirit, Who helps us and leads us in the right decisions, so even if we go through storms and battles, this does not mean, that we are not in the right path.
This mother wanted God’s plan to succeed; that’s why she made something that in principle was not right. Rebekah did a little machination and presented her younger son, Jacob, whose name meant cheater, deceiver as the firstborn that received the blessings of the father. Genesis 27:41 says that “Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed him”.
In the New Testament, we have the doctrine of laying on of hands. Where has this doctrine come from? Why is this laying on of hands? Because a long time ago, the fathers, the patriarchs of our faith, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, when they had to release the prophetic destiny, they lifted up their right hand and laid it on the firstborn, speaking words of destiny. This was a law in the spiritual world. Later, in Acts of the Apostles, when the Christian faith was spreading and God’s kingdom was being established upon the Earth; when the heathens turned from the darkness, again, the apostles raised themselves as fathers, and they laid hands. Apostle Paul told Timothy: “Do not despise that which was given to you by the laying on of hands of the presbytery – the prophetic that was given to you. War according to these prophecies, that were given to you”. Why? Because these fathers spoke destiny over the people, whom they discerned. Once spoken, the word could not be returned. No one argued, when Paul or Barnabas, or any other of the apostles laid their hand upon somebody, speaking forth the blessing. They never returned it back. It was done, and there was no turning back. From then on, the one blessed had received the bait of calling, and was already responsible before God. We can not go and say: “Lord, I don’t want this calling, I don’t want this destiny”. If we do that, our life will be miserable and terrible. Jesus said: “The one having put his hand to the plow must not look back” The Lord will not curse that, which He has blessed, but everyone must stand before God and answer for his calling.
“And Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed him: and Esau said in his heart: The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then will I slay my brother Jacob.” (Genesis 27:41)
Isn’t it strange, that when God raises a leadership, and when the blessings start flowing, instead of rejoicing, brothers start hating each other. One of the sure ways to know who your real friend is is whether he is crying when you are crying, and whether he is rejoicing, when you are rejoicing.
We do not rejoice with them that succeed. It’s difficult for us, because we believe that we must live the life that we deserve. Friends, in Christ, God wants to give us the life that we do not deserve. If you are going to remember one thing tonight, let it be the following:
You are not in the Kingdom of God to live the life that you deserve. You are in the Kingdom of God, because God wants to give you the life that you do not deserve.
In the 28th chapter, Isaac called Jacob and as he blessed him, he said: “Do not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan”. The father knew the one thing that could forfeit his whole destiny. He said: I have given my blessing to him, and I want him to succeed, but there’s one thing in his whole journey of life that he must resist. Do not become linked by marriage to someone that does not know the Lord. Do not become linked by marriage to someone that is serving other gods. Do not become linked by marriage to someone, who is serving himself, whose heart is drawn by this world. Do not take a wife from the daughters of Canaan. Do not take a husband from the sons of Canaan.
“Arise, go to Padanaram, to the house of Bethuel thy mother's father; and take thee a wife from thence of the daughters of Laban thy mother's brother. And God Almighty bless thee, and make thee fruitful, and multiply thee, that thou mayest be a multitude of people; And give thee the blessing of Abraham, to thee, and to thy seed with thee; that thou mayest inherit the land wherein thou art a stranger, which God gave unto Abraham.” (Genesis 28:2-4)
Thus, the journey of Jacob began – he was threatened, persecuted, and unwanted in the land that was his inheritance. The spirit of death was opposed to his staying in that land. His father blessed him and said to him: “If you do this one thing right, God will take care of all the rest”.
“And he lighted upon a certain place, and tarried there all night, because the sun was set; and he took of the stones of that place, and put them for his pillows, and lay down in that place to sleep. And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven: and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it. And, behold, the LORD stood above it, and said, I am the LORD God of Abraham thy father, and the God of Isaac: the land whereon thou liest, to thee will I give it, and to thy seed; And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth, and thou shalt spread abroad to the west, and to the east, and to the north, and to the south: and in thee and in thy seed shall all the families of the earth be blessed. And, behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of. And Jacob awaked out of his sleep, and he said, Surely the LORD is in this place; and I knew it not.”
(Genesis 28: 11-16)
I believe that many of you, being a part of this House, have placed for a pillow the Stone - Christ. Peace has come in your life. Isn’t it strange, that a stone can bring peace? God’s Word calls Christ the Corner Stone. There’s no peace like God’s peace. Better to have the Stone – Christ for a pillow, than to have the most feathery pillows in this world.
Jacob didn’t know that this place was God’s. He said: “… the Lord is in this place; and I knew it not”. Also, he said: “… how dreadful is this place! This is none other but the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.” (Genesis 28:17). Some of you come to Church and do not understand that this is a God’s place. Some of you look to the pastor, to the leader of worship, to the dancers, that are dancing gloriously, while at the same time, the author of the book of Hebrews says: “Run the race, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith”. I don’t know about you, but I want to be focused. I see to it that I ignore everything else. I think about Christ, the author and finisher of my faith. How focused are you? Do you have the vision of the Lord in your life?
The Lord is lowering a ladder toward every one of us. It’s a ladder that reaches to the Heavens. Most of us are climbing the wrong ladder. Most of us believe that in order that we succeed in this life, we need a man to give us a hand, someone to depend on. Jacob though, saw a ladder, coming from the Heavens. Above it stood the Lord.
The Lord wants you to succeed. He wants me and you to succeed. He wants you to live in this life, knowing that He is watching over you. He cares for you. No matter what you are going through in your life, there’s one more step. You are called to live from Glory to Glory, because He is saying from above: “There’s another level for you, there’s a new place for you”.
Proverbs 8:13 says: “The fear of the LORD is to hate evil”. Nothing complicated! The Lord said: Do not steal, do not lie, do not kill, do not commit adultery! The fear of the Lord is to hate evil! We do not have the fear of the Lord in the Church. We have Charismatic versions of the Gospel. The Lord will not tell you anything that will be against His word. The Lord will not lead you into adultery. The Lord will not lead you into fornication.
“And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put for his pillows, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil upon the top of it. And he called the name of that place Bethel (A House of God): but the name of that city was called Luz at the first.” (Genesis 28:18-19)
Where is your House of God? Where is your family? Where there is a family, there’s an anointing. In the House that the Lord has for you, there will your anointing be also. Where there is a House, there’s an anointing. What a pity it is for a House to be without an anointing. What a pity it is to impart your life in soulish relationships! I don’t want a House without an anointing. Most people want to be a part of a group. When you seek the group without the oil in the House, you end up in soulish relationships. I don’t want a family just for the sake of relationships. I want this House to have the oil upon it. Where is your House? If you know your House, mark it, pour oil upon it. Give everything of yourself. Your anointing and my anointing together can change this world. The Lord has prepared every one of us with an anointing. Apostle Paul said: “In a house there different vessels - vessels of gold and of silver, and also vessels of wood and of earth”. He said that everyone that purges himself from the errors and delusions can become a vessel unto honour. You can live the fullness of the anointing, that God has for you. Then, when we join our anointings, when we start walking in the faith that the Lord has given us, we can do so much more. We become a House, in which God has poured His oil. We become a House in which we have poured the oil, which God has given in our life.
So, Jacob started living the life he deserved. He married one woman, then another also. In some way, the Lord worked in this situation. Then we see that one day a change came in Jacob. What was that change? Up until this day, Jacob didn’t walk in his inheritance. He was living the life he deserved. Jacob was living the life of a wanderer. He was walking with the blessings, but didn’t have the boldness to return. Jacob was like those of us that come to Church and are blessed by God’s Presence, and then we go back to the real life. Just 20% of the Churches today are successful in this life. The rest 80% of the Churches don’t even think that they are successful. Only one of every ten believers is walking down the street with confidence.
We can be a light. Even when we are not this light, we must do everything, so we can become that light. Jacob was walking with all blessings, all promises prophesied over his life. The Lord was doing something in his life, but he wasn’t walking in his inheritance. Jacob was a calculating personality – he was still being Jacob. He was a canny fellow. Is it possible for you to be a canny fellow and still, the blessing of God to be in your life? According to Jacob, yes! And do you know what the problem is then? Then you are living the life you deserve - a wanderer, who is waving a pile of promises by God: The Lord told me, I had a dream, I saw, I was blessed, hands were laid on me, I have the primogeniture, but I am a wanderer, I don’t walk in the real blessing, and instead, I am living the life I deserve – the life of the wanderer.
One day things changed. Jacob decided to leave. Jacob got sick and tired. How many of you are sick and tired of being kicked around – left and right? Hear me, Church; we can not do any thing more in our life for the Lord, than what He has done in us.
Even if you have the prophetic promises, even if oil has been poured upon you, even if you are a part of the House and even if you are around the apostolic, if you are still called Jacob on the inside, you will not start walking in your destiny.
Most probably, 8 or 9 out of every 10 Christians in Bulgaria consider themselves unsuccessful and feel they are living the life they deserve in the natural. Their thinking is the following: “My mother and my father were not rich, so I am living the life I deserve. My mother and my father divorced and I know there’s a curse in my life”. And so, they accept the fact, that they are living the life they deserve.
Now the firstborn didn’t have that kind of thinking. He thought like this: “I will live the life of a firstborn. I will not live with the scraps. I will not live with what has been left over. I will live an excellent life. I am the heir.
No firstborn deserved that life. It was simply given to him, because he had been born first.
Jacob the cheater had the promises, the prophetic things, the dream, the experiences with God, and only one last thing remained. In 32:9, Jacob said:
“O God of my father Abraham, and God of my father Isaac, the LORD which saidst unto me, Return unto thy country, and to thy kindred, and I will deal well with thee: I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies, and of all the truth, which thou hast showed unto thy servant; for with my staff I passed over this Jordan; and now I am become two bands.” (Genesis 32:9-10)
I was blessed as a firstborn, but here I am, living at the mercy of those around me. Circumstances are controlling my life. I am a wanderer. Lord, I want something to change! Lord, I am living the life I deserve, but I believe that I can start living the life I don’t deserve.
“Deliver me, I pray thee, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau: for I fear him, lest he will come and smite me, and the mother with the children. And thou saidst, I will surely do thee good, and make thy seed as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude.” (Genesis 32:11-12)
Deliver me! Deliver me! Jacob cried out for deliverance. It’s time for some of you to cry out to the Lord for deliverance. It’s time for some of you to be delivered of the depression, the poverty, the wicked inheritance, in which you are now walking.
Church, we are the generation that will break the cycle of the curse. We are the generation that will initiate a new beginning. We are the generation that must demonstrate that we can live the life we do not deserve – a life that is according to God’s favor - a life, not because we deserve it, but because God’s favor is upon it.
I am not living the life I deserve. If I had to live the life I deserved, I would still be an embittered, miserable, criticizing man somewhere out there, reading newspapers, watching television, and having his heart rent by anger, that somebody else is succeeding. I would still believe that I must live the life I deserve. But I am not living the life I deserve. I am living by faith.
Even though I am living in a foreign country, I am not living there like an emigrant. I don’t even live with the thought of being an emigrant. Actually, I am living in God’s House, because wherever I go, it’s like a House of God for me, because I am walking in the steps of the Father. I am walking in the Lord’s covenant. And the people that are born there, that have education and everything must be working perfectly for them, they are sitting and growing weak, ruled by the spirit of this world, complaining, whining, and feeling sorry for themselves. Hear me, I don’t know any happy emigrants, but I am not living like an emigrant. I am walking in the destiny the Lord has for me.
Where is your destiny? Do you take the promises, your prophetic destiny and the word, and say?
- Lord, bless me here.
And the Lord is saying to you:
- No, I will give you this land.
- No, Lord, bless me here.
The Lord is saying:
- No, here I will bless you just enough, so you don’t starve to death, but here I want to give you the land.
I am living by faith, I am walking in the inheritance, and I am not complaining. I am not living the life I deserve.
The Heavenly Father has an inheritance for you. He has gifts and talents for you. Inside of you is the key to your destiny. You are not an accident. Your life is not an accident. You can be in the right place at the right time, and know that the Lord has an inheritance for you.
Jacob returns and says: I am going back in the land. I will have a breakthrough. I will have a breakthrough. The problem is though, that he is still Jacob. He is calculating everything. Schemer, Intriguer. Some people do not understand that we have a covenant God, Who wants to give us the life that He has for us. A life that we do not deserve, but is given to us as a gift in Christ. Here’s the plan of Jacob in action:
“Two hundred she goats, and twenty he goats, two hundred ewes, and twenty rams, Thirty milch camels with their colts, forty kine, and ten bulls, twenty she asses, and ten foals. And he delivered them into the hand of his servants, every drove by themselves; and said unto his servants, Pass over before me, and put a space betwixt drove and drove. And he commanded the foremost, saying, When Esau my brother meeteth thee, and asketh thee, saying, Whose art thou? and whither goest thou? and whose are these before thee? Then thou shalt say, They be thy servant Jacob's; it is a present sent unto my lord Esau: and, behold, also he is behind us. And so commanded he the second, and the third, and all that followed the droves, saying, On this manner shall ye speak unto Esau, when ye find him.” (Genesis 32:14-19)
Everything is working perfectly:
“So went the present over before him: and himself lodged that night in the company.”
(Genesis 32:21)
What is happening when you are all by yourself? What is happening when all else leave and you have done everything you knew you had to do? So, here are you and God alone. Finally:
“And he rose up that night, and took his two wives, and his two womenservants, and his eleven sons, and passed over the ford Jabbok. And he took them, and sent them over the brook, and sent over that he had. And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day.” (Genesis 32:22-24)
Everybody else is on the other side. Now he must cross over and his feet must step in his inheritance. Jacob is thinking that through his schemes, everything will work. There was a problem though. There was a man there. He was standing there and he said: You are not going anywhere! When Jacob tried to make a step forward, this man hit him with his shoulder. When he tried to make another, he bumped him with the other shoulder, and something arose in Jacob and he said: I will cross over. I will not stay here. It says:
“And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day. And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched …”
Jacob was fighting the whole night. He didn’t want to know who this man was. He just had a problem: I am crossing over. My plan is in action. I am going. And eventually, he found himself in the mud. Marked, with a broken thigh. The Hebrew word “touched” means that he hit him sharply in the thigh, and Jacob’s thigh came out of joint. The man with whom Jacob was fighting turned to walk away and right at this moment, something happened.
David prayed and said: “Do not take Your Spirit from me”. Lord, whatever it is, just don’t walk away from my life. Something broke in Jacob and he understood: This is my last chance. I have fought with the Lord. And he broke. Something turned in him. Jacob caught the man and told him: “I will not let You go, until You bless me” (Genesis 32:26). Look what this man told him: “What is your name? And he said, Jacob” (Genesis 32:27). Then he said: “Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed” (Genesis 32:28).
Israel means a Prince with God, ruling with God, reigning with God.
“And Jacob asked him, and said, Tell me, I pray thee, thy name. And he said, Wherefore is it that thou dost ask after my name? And he blessed him there. And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved. And as he passed over Penuel the sun rose upon him, and he halted upon his thigh.” (Genesis 32:29-31)
Jacob! Something in him was broken, and there remained a scar in his life forever. It’s better to stump along, being broken, successful and blessed by God.
Friends, if you want to enter your inheritance, it will not happen without that inward change and that inward reformation. The Lord wants to rule with you. The Lord wants to reign with you. The Lord wants you to live the life that you do not deserve – the good life – in which your House is not filled with sorrow and grief, but with joy and peace; not with misery, but with good, blessed things, in which you are walking in the steps of the Father. You are saying: “Lord, I do not deserve that. I am not worthy”. The Lord is saying: “I know. That’s why I am giving it to you, so I can be glorified, and all the glory can be for Me”!
I pray that you take the decision that you are not going to live the life you deserve in the natural, but will open yourself to receive the life, that the Lord is giving you – the life that you do not deserve!
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